Wanted an amazing partner and spouse? Married him.
Wanted to go to a top-notch university? Graduated in 4 years.
Wanted to travel to Australia? Worked hard for scholarships, got there.
Wanted a Masters degree? Worked hard, and while literally working, got it.
Wanted a beautiful home? Got it.
Wanted a beautiful, healthy family? Got it.
Wanted that job? Got it.
Wanted to feel less anxious financially? Saved up, got it.
Wanted to be a size 12 (shit I’d settle for an 18)….er….
I was never afraid of hard work or sacrifice before, why should being fat for 20 years be a hurdle I couldn’t get over? Genetics schmetics. Hardwork, discipline, willpower, sheer will, and a good support system I should be successful. Joined the gym, got the family on board, read articles, have a STFU buddy, a personal trainer, a friend who's in with me (someday we're gonna be so HOT )...should have all the tools ready, right?
October 2010: 251.3
November 2010: 254
Apologies to those reading who don’t enjoy the rainbow of language I employ but g*d dammit, m*therf*cker. No one should start a Friday morning at 5:40am like this.
So I’m trying to focus less on the ONE negative (which I’m wont to do about 90% of the time) and focus on the many positives. I don’t see any real change in my appearance, but then again, I flee from mirrors. Behavior and life style have changed, but how?
In March, I hated the gym and found every excuse not to go. Now, I feel weird, not guilty but weird or off, if I don’t go.
In March, I literally couldn’t do the elliptical for more than 30sec. It was painful. Now, I can do 35 minutes with the level from 5-17.
In March, I could barely curl 5lb weights in my hands for 10 reps. Now, I do 12lb weights for 10 reps THREE TIMES.
In March, I wouldn’t dare anyone see me in spandex. Now, I don’t care what I look like at the gym, I’m not there for you, I’m there for me.
In March, I couldn’t run an entire lap around the gym at about 5mph. Now, I’m at a lap and a half.
In March, I couldn’t bear the sauna at all. Now, I look forward to the stretch and sweat.
In March, I would look for the closest parking spot. Now, I try to figure how many steps I can get in to the door.
In March, I’d never ever had signed up for a boot camp – ARE YOU NUTS????? Now, I can’t wait until 9am Saturday mornings and I’ll be the one in the front row, in front of the psycho with a whistle.
In March, I was a 40DDD. Now, I’m a 38DD.
In March, the size 24 pants fit. Now, the size 20 pants fit.
In March, I had never signed up for a 5K (that wasn’t a fundraising walk and I wasn’t 12). Now, I finished the Turkey Trot before Thanksgiving in under 45 minutes.
In March, I never stopped at the fish counter at the grocery store. Now, I can’t wait for the salmon, tilapia, or scallops to go on sale and sometimes, I even splurge.
In March, fast food was a given on at least 2 days a week. Now, maybe once a month.
In March, I drank 4 cans of diet soda a day. Now, only 1.
In March, I never ate breakfast. Now, every day.
In March, I struggled to get in my water. Now, 3quarts by lunch is a given.
In March, I didn’t make me a priority. Now, I recognize that trying to eat better and every moment at the gym is for ME.
In March, we'll let's just say I won't list the measurements. Now, down 14 total inches.
I’m trying and maybe that’s my success. I wanted to be under 200 by my 33rd birthday. I don’t think that’s going to happen. My husband’s success is nothing against me and I need to work on that. Maybe this 3lbs is just sheer jealousy!
I’m trying and maybe that’s my success.